It seems like I’m waging a bit of a battle on a number of fronts at the moment. That said, viewing it in such a way constructs it rather negatively, so I am left wondering if there is a way I can construct everything I’m doing in a more positive light…
The new position at work seems to be quite self driven, I’m not sure if I expected it to be as direct support-less as it has been. There are plenty of reasons that it is the case, some excusable, some not. Regardless I’m presented with a set of circumstances and I can either work with them, or not. I’m choosing to work with them and smile along the way! I just hope Apple gets its act together soon and releases new laptops so I have stock to sell… even if I don’t have an internet connection, printer or proper chairs (we have however upgraded from the camp stools. Thankfully!)
Outside from the store, the traffic each morning seems to be a bit of a battle, and at the moment I seem to be a little scatty, so remembering everything I have to do in a given day is proving challenging, forgetting to charge my phone should have acted as the canary in the coal mine for me, but alas, I wasn’t listening. Unfortunately today I was back in my old “launching from one thing (read: minor disaster) to the next” mode. But how to grow up and prioritise.
I start back at uni this week. As I sit here typing this I realise that I have yet to check my timetable and I might even need to swap a class or two if it doesn’t work in with my work schedule.
I think the big thing for me at the moment is having things to rely on… or rather, lacking things to rely on. Perhaps nothing has changed and I am simply passing the buck, but I genuinely feel that I have turned a corner in the way I work, but at these formative stages I still need a little help (or at least a reliable internet connection), which seems to be lacking.
At this reflective point I look back to my path in this life. For those not in the know, my three names (Luke Rohin Martin) combine to mean a Light Bearer/Warrior journeying on the upward path. Interestingly while I’ve never struggled with the meaning of Luke Rohin, it is the Martin / Warlike quality that has always seemed at odds with me. Perhaps it is the Martin that I need to spend some more time getting to know, and the third leg to my personality that while inactive is getting in the way of me and my potential (which everyone assures me I have plenty of, and I have only recently come to accept).
Interesting times most certainly ahead. I’ll keep you posted (and blog more in the meantime).
February 26th, 2008 at 6:20 am
It might be semantics, but I would contend that you already know how to be a Martin - it’s understanding what ‘warlike’ means that you could think a bit about. If I know you you’ll be assuming that war is bad and therefore being warlike doesn’t fit with who you want to be.
Wars are waged to get something you want, or defend something you care about. Honour, courage and duty are all warlike qualities. Also remember not all wars are physical, but all involve fighting for what you believe in.
Wars are started by individuals, but millions of people find themselves caught up in them when they happen, at which point it doesn’t matter anymore whether war is good or bad. War is part of life, and one you’ve ignored for a long time. There will always be conflict, and reason to fight. Don’t avoid it. Besides, you have three names. Let the other two guide the way you conduct yourself in battle.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Hitting the nail on the head there Mr Poyner. What I failed to type is indeed the blank you filled in, in that, in the past I’ve never considered anything good could come of war, and hence, I have disconnected that element to the point where I would cringe to hear my full name.
I think being dismissive about semantics is never a good thing (feel free to quote that one back to me some day) and that waging a war vs. having the qualities of a warrior are quite different things.
Denotatively, war can mean “a state of competition, conflict, or hostility” or “a sustained effort to deal with or end a particular unpleasant or undesirable situation or condition”. Not a lot of positive connotations there, but there is a certain powerful energy driving a conclusion. I sense another blog post is somewhat imminent.